This side of the Gate!

gate

I was always fascinated by lawyers. My Maternal grandfather was quite a popular lawyer in his town. I was very much enamored whenever I saw him super-studded office with full of books on laws and books on case laws which was a part of the house and was called “Baithak”. It looked to me more like a Library with all books so beautifully and elegantly arranged. The people always standing outside his office made me think that he was very popular. Actually he was very hard working strong man. After retiring from the  post of Post-master he studied Law after it and became a successful Lawyer. He practiced non-defeated till he reached late 90s when he left this world.

                I too wanted to become a lawyer like him but never did as parents were against it stating who will marry a Lawyer. This argument still does not go with me. After doing my master in computer, working for a decade, marrying a decent guy, have two beautiful kids, I realized that the quest to become a lawyer was still alive within me. I asked my husband he instantly agreed and I got admitted in three years degree course. I realized this for the first time that learning law, those fat books, interesting case laws is much easier than giving law exams. Giving back to back exams without even a single break makes it feel more like speed test then knowledge test. The 3 hours limit and 6 big answers to write, near about 30-35 pages at an average. The knowledge which was absorbed by brain like sponge absorbing water when learned professors taught in the college disappears somewhere while racing against the time completing those exam papers. It was almost a routine for a week getting up at 4.30 a.m and sleeping at 12.00 midnight. It was almost difficult for a person like me to survive on such a small diet of sleep. Exams for children added more atrocities. One kid appearing for 10th board and other one who has still not learnt to study without me made exams look to me like a quest to conquer Mount Everest in a Day!

                This made me introspect that when I am so much troubled with this exams system then what about small children or young souls who are constantly under the exams pressures. We often provide them with a single gate of evaluation and who so ever pass through it that particular day is the winner for rest of the life and others are termed losers. For example on the  last paper of my exams,  my back was aching badly because of tiredness and inadequate sleep and that pain was passing a current like sensation to my brains, my hands revolted they were in no mood that day to write, even though I knew everything but my health state that day made me restless and compelled me write the paper early and leave the examination hall early then to sit and vomit in the examination hall.

                So the question is what is important learning and its applicability or performance on a particular day? If remove the examination system then will it not let the so called non deserving students to qualify then so called deserving students. Then what is the solution to it? My suggestion would stop examining the students, they are not sick to be examined, they become sick because of the examinations.  They need to be evaluated for their skills,  talents and learning. They should be evaluated on their ability to apply their knowledge in real life situations. As currently I being a law student, I can give an example of it, give a real life legal problem, ask the student which laws and sections are applicable in the given scenario, what argument will they present if they needed to defend or prosecute the accused. Let them carry all study books which they want to carry. I think not even the best lawyers of the world are expected to by heart all laws and sections and are prohibited to refer the books. Then why students are expected to do so?

In school and college level studies same concept of evaluation can be applied, let them carry their books and solve all application based problems. All should understand learning cannot be judged on one day performance. This open book system will not even give learners are breather but also take India out of the evil of cheating prevailing in our society like a menace.

My ardent request to all parents, do not judge your children on the performance on one D-day, that cannot be measure of your kids ability. Some manage to enter that gate which we compel them to go across and those remaining this side of the gate are termed as losers. Nobody better then parents know the capacity and capability of child, so stopping examining them from others eyes. Respect and love them for what they are and do not make it conditional irrespective they are that side or this side of the gate.

You are my Sunshine!

mom

Standing on the shore….I admire the waves….

Every time they are hit by rocks on the shore,

still they come back with the same zeal and force…

In this changing world….when nothing is constant…

Their spirit of going and coming back is so persistent.

 

Every morning I quietly admire the sun…

As it slowly creeps into our lives..

To remind us that, we are still alive…

Even when covered with clouds…still can feel it’s warmth and Shine…

 

Standing on the bank…I admire  peaceful flowing river…

Bringing abundance and life in the path where ever it flows…

Carrying along all dirt and pebbles …

But only showcasing it’s pristine flow…

 

Then I admire you…

You have the audacity of a wave…

Warmth of a sun…..Generosity of a river…

You are the human…I’ll always aspire to become..

 

Love you to the core of my heart…

Thanks for being my life’s such an important part…

Happy Birthday My Child  !

 

 

 

 

 

Bleeding Buds….

Straight from heart

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Spring has come buds are blooming…

New life is evident everywhere bringing happiness.

Small bud is still sleeping in the bed of roses…

God bless it with most varied colour and magnificence.

 

She is the meticulous precision of the maker…

We owe to guard you till you bloom into a flower later.

You have filled our lives with colours and fragrance…

Oh God! We are so thankful and in constant admiration.

 

Your journey from a bud to flower was spectacular…

You gave each one around a reason to smile and feel connected.

We saw dreams for you and you gave so many dreams for our eyes…

And gave all the reason to smile and look up to the life.

 

Did’t  realized when you turned into flower…

And the thorns in the bed started growing longer.

We tried to save you many times hurting our own hands…

But…

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From Mother to a son……

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I want to take you in my arms and try to give you solace….

But you seem to be far away to hear the voice of my soul.

Then I see hundred of women wailing for their love of their life…

It disturbs me more when I try to ignore quiet questions of your wife.

I want to calm down every kid who has to learn to live on their own…

Their loved ones will never come back this fact is hard but they have to know.

I want to empathize with every sister who lost her blood companion in haste…

Brothers all commitments and promises made, now look like a sheer waste.

Fathers couldn’t wail in open dig their faces in their own palms…

How cruel is the destiny to carry own son on shoulders after carrying him in arms.

I want to cry I want to scream I want to hug you and want to wail…

My dear my own son can you tell me where did I fail?

Like every mother I fed you my blood and milk…

But you gave up all relations without giving a blink…

I kept awake for nights just to make you comfortable and give you nice sleep…

What gave you courage for killing so many and leave loved ones to weep.

I slept half-stomach so that you grow without realizing our empathy…

You left so many to live without honour and on others pity and sympathy.

My son I want to fight you I want to ask and complain…

Was there any shortcoming in my upbringing that all of it went in vain.

My lord my god it is such a tragedy I gave birth but cannot own you…

My son my child what gave the courage do this act and why didn’t anybody stop you.

My heart bleeds my heart aches for you…

But then I feel before being a mother I am a human.

How can I ignore that you are the reason for agony for so many…

You have taken my right to mourn what can be other big tragedy.

Your motherland disowned you because you brought shame and disgrace …

But I being mother still forgive you and want to hold you tight in my embrace.

Bleeding Buds….

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Spring has come buds are blooming…

New life is evident everywhere bringing happiness.

Small bud is still sleeping in the bed of roses…

God bless it with most varied colour and magnificence.

 

She is the meticulous precision of the maker…

We owe to guard you till you bloom into a flower later.

You have filled our lives with colours and fragrance…

Oh God! We are so thankful and in constant admiration.

 

Your journey from a bud to flower was spectacular…

You gave each one around a reason to smile and feel connected.

We saw dreams for you and you gave so many dreams for our eyes…

And gave all the reason to smile and look up to the life.

 

Did’t  realized when you turned into flower…

And the thorns in the bed started growing longer.

We tried to save you many times hurting our own hands…

But destiny was cruel and had its own plans and stands.

 

One morning, which we never wanted to wake up and see,

We saw you lying lifeless bleeding profusely…

The destiny had taken its toll…

In the night when everyone was sleeping the thorns played their role.

 

We were devastated we were shocked.

We wanted to complain and wanted to ask God…

Why god gave you life and smile…

If he wanted to end your journey in such a tragic tie.

 

Our faith on god and springs are shattered…

Now new buds blooming gives my heart an ache.

If we cannot save them or give save environment

Please do not give them life for God sake.

 

New spring comes new buds bloom…

My heart is sinking and constantly in a gloom.

I can still see the sparkling colours in the flower.

The blood red colour shines and the thorns around looks even more  longer….